Wait on the Lord

Wait on the Lord

I remember when I first started my social work career, I was an Independent Living Specialist. I worked with individuals with various disabilities to do basic things in life: complete paperwork, pay bills, grocery shop, you name it we did it. One of my clients had a significant vision impairment. She could see some shapes, but she relied on brail to read and a walking stick to walk. One of her goals was to learn how to navigate the bus system so she could volunteer. Now I’m up for a challenge, but just to get to the bus stop, she had to cross a busy intersection in St. Paul, not once, but twice!

We set off from her home and began the journey to the bus stop. We got to the corner and her walking stick felt the tactile paving signaling the end of the sidewalk. She felt for the crosswalk button and pressed…Wait, Wait, Wait. The traffic light repeats… Wait, Wait, Wait… sending a clear message that it isn’t quite safe to walk forward yet.

This voice haunts me now as I sit in prayer this morning. Longing for answers on what to do next with my life. Should we buy that house? Should we try for another kid? Should I apply for that promotion? But the answer is audible and frustratingly clear. Like the signal to the crosswalk… Wait, Wait, Wait.

A Time for Everything

God has a plan for all people. He provides cycles of life- each with work for us to do. Just like the seasons of the year (or for us Minnesotans anyway), there is a season for everything. Fall is a time of shifting in our lives and preparing for what is to come. Winter is a time to reflect, hibernate, reconnect and envision what wonders lie ahead. Spring brings rain showers washing away the old and bursting and blooming with new life. And summer is a time to celebrate the harvest.

Timing is important.

Even though I know this it’s still frustrating to have to wait! Over the past few weeks, I went through a series of growing pains as god tested my strength and faith.  At first, there was restlessness, wanting to take control. Wait, Wait, Wait. Then there was despair, a deep resentment for not getting the answers I so desperately craved. Wait, Wait, Wait. Then worst of all, I almost moved ahead without his advice. But lucky enough for me as a child of God, He anointed me, set his seal of ownership on me, and put his spirit in my heart as a deposit guaranteeing what is to come. Corinthians 1:22

Listening to that voice isn’t always easy. And sometimes that little voice doesn’t come.

But I’ve spent many days praying this…

 

Ask and you shall receive. So that little audible warning, Wait, Wait, Wait. Oh yeah, that’s him.

So here I am. I heard the voice and direction of God. I listened. I’m waiting. Now what? Why do I still have such a yearning for more? I want more. More opportunity. Forward momentum. That new house. That new challenge of being a mother again. It’s painful to remain still. And then it dawns on me. I am searching horizontally for what can only be satisfied vertically.

He has made everything in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart. Ecclesiastes 3:11

We will never be completely satisfied in this world. God has built in a restless yearning for a perfect world that can only be accomplished under his perfect rule. That new home or that new job or that new baby will not bring me the satisfaction I long for. I’ve been searching so hard for perfection, searching for paradise. But it can’t be had, not right here, not right now anyway. As a child of God, I have been promised paradise but in his time. There is work for me to do yet.

Now I’m starting to think that the secret to peace with God and this world is to discover, accept, and appreciate God’s perfect timing. Revere him. Trust him. Obey him. Because it’s not what we know but whom we know.

So, I will continue to wait. Not ideally of course. No, I will continue to work hard as a mother, a wife, a social worker, and a small business owner. I will continue to grow in my faith and who I am as a woman. I will continue to look for opportunities for growth. I will consult him in all things. And I will wait patiently and peacefully on the Lord. In humble anticipation of the words… Walk, Walk, Walk.

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